It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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