You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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