i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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