they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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