don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
