no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize