apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
