I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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