This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
