The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Why are your pants in the freezer?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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