It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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