you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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