i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
