I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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