i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
