He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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