the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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