do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
