garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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