The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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