so explain again why im purple
no
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
