You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
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After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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