she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
