I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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