so that wasnt chicken after all
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.