nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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