with your own penis?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The Olympian is in my bed
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.