And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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