question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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