Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table

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(845): hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table http://tfl.nu/l87u

Replies (20) Good night (3334) Bad night (1576)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.

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(507): I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is. http://tfl.nu/v0y7

Replies (9) Good night (966) Bad night (2694)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening

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(540): I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening http://tfl.nu/76la

Replies (3) Good night (792) Bad night (1587)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?

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(508): its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right? http://tfl.nu/koz9

Replies (6) Good night (1991) Bad night (654)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.

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(203): She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good. http://tfl.nu/fc7j

Replies (1) Good night (776) Bad night (1334)
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(561): View more from Florida

Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.

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(561): Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo. http://tfl.nu/xop1

Replies (13) Good night (1588) Bad night (1059)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have

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(484): But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have http://tfl.nu/07zt

Replies (3) Good night (1110) Bad night (632)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?

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(317): I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it? http://tfl.nu/wfmi

Replies (11) Good night (3769) Bad night (738)
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(347): View more from New York

I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.

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(347): I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick. http://tfl.nu/dk06

Replies (6) Good night (1204) Bad night (616)
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(949): View more from California

I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval

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(949): I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval http://tfl.nu/htsq

Replies (4) Good night (730) Bad night (482)
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(309): View more from Illinois

my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"

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(309): my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school" http://tfl.nu/0p2q

Replies (4) Good night (591) Bad night (818)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.

(417): View more from Missouri

I will make you one.

(417): View more from Missouri

Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it

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(417): I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal. (417): I will make you one. (417): Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it http://tfl.nu/hpb9

Replies (5) Good night (992) Bad night (776)
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(44): View more from United Kingdom

I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.

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(44): I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED. http://tfl.nu/76l1

Replies (4) Good night (1579) Bad night (680)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.

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(423): True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do. http://tfl.nu/f7pn

Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (314)
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(970): View more from Colorado

We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over

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(970): We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over http://tfl.nu/mjcg

Replies (1) Good night (711) Bad night (277)

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