I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.