stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
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I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
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I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"