Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.