My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
