dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
