She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
