my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
