Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
