She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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