Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
