weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
