Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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