Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
