I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
