My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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