Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
accomplished twins. life is a go
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
