Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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