I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
