I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize