So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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