Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
