This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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