I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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