You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize