What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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