remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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