belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
