This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My vagina is very pro this idea
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
