dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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