I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
