i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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