party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
