What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just tell him i said nine months
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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