He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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