it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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