I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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