Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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