We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Text me some of your sweat
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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