No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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