is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
