it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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