I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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