Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
